


The Clover Kaitou

by Fyliwion



Category: Magic Kaito, 名探偵コナン | Detective Conan | Case Closed
Genre: Baby Fic, Baby Kaito, Birthday, Blackmail, F/M, Family, Family Feels, Father's Day, Happy Birthday Kaitou KID, Heist, How Kaito Got His Name, Humor, Kaitou KID - Freeform, Phantom Lady - Freeform, Strong Language, Toichi is an Idiot, name play
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-06-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:27:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24834586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fyliwion/pseuds/Fyliwion
Summary: Kuroba Toichi was only gone for five minutes. Maybe thirty. Not really a whole hour. Honestly, it couldn't even be called a proper heist.How would he know his wife would go into labor?
Relationships: Kuroba Chikage/Kuroba Touichi
Comments: 4
Kudos: 53
Collections: DCMK Fanfiction Discord Server Recommendations





	The Clover Kaitou

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Birthday Kuroba Kaito!
> 
> Happy Father's Day to any dad's out there! 
> 
> This was a spur of the moment drabble I posted on my livejournal years ago. I found it hidden in my hard drive, and decided it was the perfect thing to revamp for Kaito’s Birthday (which also happens to be Father’s Day here in the states). I reworked it and created an actual fic out of it, including what we know of Chikage now (At the time we didn’t even have a name, and we had no idea she was a thief too). 
> 
> The idea came up due to how pretentious Toichi had to be to name his son something that could be said as 'Clover Kaito' and my friend Eialyne said, "Maybe his mother named him that to annoy Toichi” 
> 
> So, here we are.

“You promised Toichi.”

The woman looked up from the bundle in her arms, _scowling_ at her husband as if daring him to argue with her. Usually she was good natured, but when she decided to show her temper- 

“You _promised_.“ 

Funny how scary his wife could sound when provoked.

“But dearest, it wasn’t a very _big_ one. All I did was hop in, hop out, and it was over before it even began! Nakamori barely knew I was there.” His voice dropped to a low whisper, praying that none of the nurses looking in understood what he was saying.

“I went into labor and you were at a _fucking heist_!!” 

Oh God, things were falling apart by the minute. Any moment now Nakamori was going to walk in with a pair of cuffs.

“Chikage! _Someone is going to hear!”_

“Well let them! You were the one who _promised_ me, no more heists until after the baby comes. So where was my darling husband while I’m pushing out his eight pound little monster? _Playing with jewels at a fucking heist!”_

Wrong tactic. 

He winced, trying to hide from his wife’s fury. He looked around for an escape. There wasn't. Windows that didn't open, one door blocked by doctor's, newborn son in her arms. Trapped.

“Darling? Love? Beautiful beloved? You know I would never have done it on purpose!” 

“I’m the damn Phantom Lady. I know for a _fact_ you would do it on purpose.” 

He was doomed. 

Oh well, when in doubt classics always worked best. He pulled a rose from midar and slipped it behind her ear. “Chikage, you weren’t due for almost another two weeks. I wasn’t even gone thirty minutes. You were resting and I was on my way to get groceries anyway, and someone had sent out a false notice so Nakamori was already there and since it was on my way to the store so I thought-”

“Thought? _Thought!?_ Hah! That’s precisely the issue! You _weren’t_ thinking, you idiot! You had better be thankful you got me to the hospital in time. I had half a mind to scream out everything in the middle of giving birth to _your_ child.” Chikage scowled at him, although her finger touched the flower behind her ear thoughtfully as Toichi scooped the bundle into his arms.

His face blossomed as he looked down. Bright rosey cheeks, a tuft of black hair, and bright blue eyes that looked up widely at him. It was impossible to look away from the magical bundle he was holding. “But isn’t he a charming little boy? Just like his father… yes you are.” Toichi murmured down to his son, happily tickling his nose. 

For a moment he could forget his angry wife, still recovering from her trials the hours before. He almost thought she forgave him, as his son made soft laugh-like sounds, and Toichi stood mesmerized by the small life they’d brought into the world.

At least, until Chikage’s voice broke his thoughts.

“So you should know," He was in trouble. He could already tell by that easy, calm sound in her voice. Oh hell. She kept going, "While you were off at your _night job_ , I came up with the perfect name for our son.”

Toichi blinked. He looked towards his wife who looked suspiciously innocent, “I thought we were going to finish deciding toge-”

Her eyes flashed, and he stopped mid-sentence. 

Her lips pursed, and he swallowed.

“However, I’m sure any name you come up with is perfect dearest.” Best to not argue when your wife had it in her ability to maim, kill, and in his case put you behind bars. Especially when she had just gone through a very painful ordeal, that you mostly missed due to a side gig. Much better to let her have her way. Not that she didn’t anyway but-

“I have no doubt you’ll approve.”

“Oh?” he said, starting to feel a little nervous as he backed slowly away from his wife, holding his child close to his chest. Meanwhile, she had plucked the rose from behind her ear, and was stroking the petals with a caress that reminded him of handling his card gun. It was not a reassuring feeling. 

“I named him for you after all.” 

Chikage’s smirk slipped into place, and she held her arms out to take their son back from him. Toichi reluctantly handed him back, his wife cornering him more assuredly than any heist 

“Did you now.... Dearest?” His voice cracked. His voice hadn't cracked since junior high. This was humiliating. 

The grin she flashed him was pure teeth. Warning sirens began going off in his head as her eyes met his with all the love of a minor demon, at least until she turned it back to their son. 

“Shall we tell your father your name? Shall we sweetling?” The boy made another pleased coo causing the woman to smile, “Oh all right, if you say so my little _Kaito._ ”

It took Toichi a moment. After all, he _had_ had a long night, and even as quick of a man as Toichi was, his wife was one of the only people that really still managed to keep him on his toes.If anyone could match him it was the Phantom Lady. 

Between the sleep deprivation, adrenaline drop, and the endorphin overload from holding their _son_ (He had a son!). It was hard to precisely realize exactly what she’d just said, but he could swear it was…

No. He had to have heard wrong. 

“Love. Um… did you just say, _Kaitou?_ ”

“Of course not, idiot. No one would call their son _Kaitou!_ ” she drew out the last syllable longer, causing him to wince, as he looked back towards to the door waiting for a doctor to walk in right then and there. The baby cooed gently in her arms as if agreeing, causing the woman to smile. “Yes I know darling. Your Daddy is a silly man. Imagine asking for that kind of trouble. Although with his genes you probably will be anyway won’t you. Yes you will, a little bundle of trouble.” The laughter grew harder from him and she smiled. Looking up she met her husband’s eyes with a mischievous air, “No, I said Kaito.” 

She wouldn’t. 

“Kaito.”

“Yes. Kuroba Kaito.”

He swore she grew fangs. Phantom Lady? Hah! Demon Lady more like it.

Sure Toichi tended to flaunt his heritage and night job in sometimes less than subtle ways, but naming their first son _Kaito?_ Did she _want_ them to get caught?! 

“Sweetheart. Isn’t that a tiny bit... pretentious?” He coughed lightly as the woman nuzzled the happy bundle in her arms. 

Chikage never even looked up, “This coming from you? I’m half surprised you didn’t come up with it yourself!” Their son made a gleeful sound almost like a laugh, “See? Even _Kaito_ agrees it’s laughable!.”

“But darling-”

She paid no attention to his pleas, “It’s a common enough name Toichi, and I felt it was quite appropriate when his father couldn’t even manage twenty-four hours without stealing things. Why, here I’ve retired to be a housewife, and you can’t make it for your son’s birth.” 

“Chikage! Someone is going to hear!”

“And if someone hadn’t been returning some little trinket to a certain Inspector, while I proceeded to have my water break-” 

“I was gone for five minutes! You were early! Chikage please!”

Rose bouquets were sprouting up in her hospital room, as well as balloons, and a tray of her favorite French chocolates next to her bed table. 

He may as well have been conjuring dust for the interest she showed at the surrounding gift shop that had blown up around her. She didn’t even bother looking up from her son’s beaming face, “It’s already decided.”

Toichi knew when he’d lost. He held up his hands in defeat, “If he takes over the family business I blame you when he gets caught.”

“Oh please. Our child? It will take more than a name. I suspect it will make him all the more infamous. Isn’t that right my little phantom thief?” 

“Chikage.” 

“Yes it is my little, _Clover Kaitou!”_ She tapped her son’s nose as she said the last part in English. 

Toichi realized he’d married a maniac. 

_“Chikage!”_

She rolled her eyes, “We can’t very well change your surname now can we? Really Toichi, isn’t Kuroba a bit pretentious to begin with? I suppose it’s a miracle you decided on that white suit and glider and not some black leather get-up.”

“Black leath-”

“Or sequins, probably with feathers knowing you.” 

“What exactly did they give you?” he said coughing, his cheekings flushing violently. 

“I suppose the leather might be just wishful thinking on my part. It would be a very nice look though in case you were thinking of changing it up.” She let out a wistful sigh, and finally looked his way. He shifted under her gaze as she added cheekily. “Warmer too on that ridiculous glider of yours.” 

“That ridiculous glider saved your life.” 

“True. You can be wonderfully charming when you want to be.” The smile that she gave him was disarming, and for a moment hope bubbled up. 

“So you agree? We can discuss this?” 

Her laugh was more of a cackle. Oh yes, definitely the Demon Lady. 

“Not so charming as that. No. But don’t worry dear, we won’t do anything near as obvious as the kanji in _your_ name. What is it you were saying about pretentiousness, _Sir Thief_?” 

He knew when he’d lost.

She grinned, her evil demon grin. The Showa Era’s Woman of Twenty Faces. The Phantom Lady. His wife. 

“.....Damn.” 

“Love you too, _dearest_.” 

**Author's Note:**

> The Kanji for Toichi’s first name is 盗一 which includes the Kanji for "thief" or "robber". I did not know this when I initially wrote it, but the whole thing seemed that much funnier now. Kaito’s first name Kanji is the generic version and not the one for Kaitou. In Katakana to English you end up with Clover Kaito. Incognito isn’t their strong suit. 
> 
> That said, it's been years since I took Japanese, so if I got anything wrong please let me know! I did as much research as I could, but there could be nuances I was missing.


End file.
